The cosmos in its intimate wisdom grants rewards for correct times and notions and punishes for fault. This I glean from understanding when the cosmos acts within a microcosm. And such has occurred in the past few days.

Things at home in a castle have been perfect, so of course complacent in my security I relaxed my guard, and even attempted to forgive and rebuild a relationship that was floundering.  I looked at the desires hopes and dreams and even tentatively made arrangements to see if I may be allowed to play with two people directly and one indirectly but the cosmos saw me. Found my attitude or a flaw in me, and said no.

How do I know this to be true?  One of the two, while I hosted in the hollow,  was with my very ex owner, .  And went on in her words. To to make it plain to me that my very ex Somme,  and an arch enemy who poured my downfall at the tender age of 19 where declared her closest allies and friends.  My nose rubbed in my mistake once more. But to compound this,  my “friend” went on to all her owner of her and my ex,  could be gf’s!!!

Then to drive the nail into the coffin,  a girl and her partner who I have gently romanced, hunted and hoped to be with. in a generally sexual way,  Side stepped an offer, and then with care, compounded this very  painful desire, with new information which leads my senses to remind me of my mistake in dreaming out side the box. Thwarted again! 

Of course the cosmos was not done yet. Not by any means. It stabbed  at soft place by my heart and that in turn ended any dream that remained.  So humbled and bruised I look out the window, and whisper,  ” sorry mother,  I will listen in future,  I promise”