This post is perhaps the hardest one I’ve ever done I Will not expect any one to understand why, unless you know me personally
. But today has culminated in the past your rating, and this past has been twenty one years in the making. It has sat like a fat toad, at the veil of a shelf of dusty hopes and dreams. The extra moments will be come clear when the sinks in. So let’s try that…..
There was a time many moons ago now,that I was young, dumb and yes full of cum. My Master was also going to the lifestyle and we explored topics that excited him. My reward for being good and putting up with his failures was that once a week he would allow me to edge play. I saw this as a way to end my life in a blaze of orgasms. So each pay way more cruel, more dangerous more reckless, than the last. My final play with this man, who paid for my submission, with a place to sleep and booze. Was a suspension twist, hood hook and gallows scene.
Naked of course, freshly fucked, he tied me set a note about my neck placed a hood over my head, add an angel hook to my ass, and lifted me of the floor. The hood retains the sight, the hook focuses the mind, the noose, should have throttle me and ended my pain, from an earlier event, that occurred when I was nineteen. However what it actually did was crush my voice. Oh sure enough it almost killed me, but he chickened out and in his cowardice, let me down, after I stopped screaming.
I was left with no voice, learning to sign, both asl and bsl. I went through life mute. And life and the cosmos, contributed to my status in ways I have yet to thank it for. From sorting myself out, to being a pony girl in real life, I have survived and endured all the things life’s thrown at me, and I was happy. Last year I spent a little time talking in sign, to a fellow mute, who told me of a microphone implant, and electronic gizmo that may be an answer,
During the last few months as those who have followed this blog will know, I have found peace and balance with a Mistress, who has become partially deaf, OK partially actually means quite profoundly. So we fit. And balance was restored. Now being collared online and offline means I wear my collar online and offline I wear a slave collar. In this case a heavy metal collar with rings. When I agreed to test for this, they the group of doctors and dudes, Looked at the cost of adding a “fanny pack” with the box in it, but, we decided to add the box to the collar. A tiny mic about as big as a grain of rice was surgically impressed in my throat and the whole thing attaches to my collar.
Now the hard bit. I had to and still do have to train it, to understand my words, which is easier said than done. Mainly is harder for me because I am from Northern Ireland. You can imagine the horrific words the box works or from my attempts at speech! So back to the present. Two weeks ago I asked the techie, ” what’s this plug hole for then?” the reply came that is a aux plug for a speaker….. OK so speaker out of 3.5 Jack……. Microphone in audio in Jack PC…….. Can you see where Rose was going? Yep….. So last Monday I tried it… OK so the cable I had was way too short and I had only a few words to say but to my family the Brightflames they where golden.
Since then I have a longer cable and more words. In fact me and my sister Laura and brother Shiro happy birthday btw! and some of their family, natsuni, ( foxy! Yes steelfox you! Twissy yep you and Magdelena, you to) sat around for nearly an hour, and talked. On voice…. With a voice! Fact it was the longest conversation I have had for twenty one years…. . And how the fuck do you compete to or with that?
Well I will say this mistress is partially deaf, and tonight we cried together after!
So yes is begin a long time in making this past, but I wish to say
Thank you to the cosmos, to my family for giving me the courage to try, to my partner petal for teaching me to strive for happiness, to my voice team for being AMAZING. And last but not least to My Mistress, without whose guidance patience wisdom and support I would have perished. The Brightflame rule is to be true to yourself, She makes that possible.
I love you.