I can’t explain why I need to do this, to be isolated in a cell with my friend echtra. But I can say I have never felt so loved as to all and have echtra,volunteer for this twenty-four hour purge.
And purge is the right word. I have been removing memory blocks regrets and Walls, barriers that have kept my mind in a state of mild panic. Little things that have bugged me, was rated against the wind, screamed and spoken out. While images can be displayed in words, the desire to remove regrets and pain that has been caused by others, or by me….either through bad choice or questionable paths, that have failed to arrive at the point in space that was with acceptable parameters.
I need to clear this out of my head before it rots what’s left of my good manners. Recent events have shown me how the cosmic alignment that balances all things, has the power to give and take. It’s also true to say that the cosmic power has the option of hibernating a event to redirected and event to happen in any other coincidental opportunity,which is I find more often than not at the wrong point of time. So with this in mind, I was bound and belted, and stepped into a cell.
Now I won’t comment on what happened in the cell, it’s a case of ” you should have been there,” and tears and snot and: bites aside, the events that occurred in that cell stay there. Now that said I knew when it had done its job, I knew when I had said all I needed to and I knew when I was past the point of no return. Stepping out into a new day was actually kind of scary. A little akin to rebirth.
The aftermath of the cleansing, was rather painful. Loosing a girl collar through misconception and miscommunication is always hard. And this weekend is no exception. But balance is essential and whilst it will take time to realign my strengths, as I work all of my alliances, and relationships with the “new me'” I am still aware that other people won’t ” get this” and perhaps a few of them will continue to ignore the significance of this weekend, and that is perfectly OK.
What this means for the future? Well…..I cleared my block and the render lists, no one’s on mute. No green clouds…well ok that was the plan, three people went directly back to green clouds. . And for those I was at loggerheads with my mistress and my queen have agreed mist graciously and with great kindness to mediate in a series of meetings so that compromising the current situation for a smooth outcome to all, is possible. Also it has got to be said, that whilst immediate problems will be solved with love and care in the order of however, there are lines and people who will most likely return to block, or in the most complex situations that I will use as an example.
There was a person who was treated as a possible lover. This person was trusted lusted after and feelings where formed and communicated to which meet with silence…She was treated with respect..the respect of a sister, given all the love and care and trust that could be metered out….even respected enough when she befriended another sister, this person was given space and time to solve her personal on and offline problems, but still offered a ear a shoulder if she ever needed it……and yet. this person still ran off to play with others. And in doing so “dropped” us all, and like dirty underwear, sidestepped, all her responsibilities to create her path with her new owners. To add salt to this wound this person then slid deeper into her owners control and practically weeks passed without a word spoken. whatsoever. And then she emerged returning to the clubs with one or both of these owners in tow… And dancing and flirting with those around, as if nothing was wrong, overlooking how much pain she had caused. Rubbing this in with her own, style.
This person then picked up her responsibilities, the situation was a mere boil on the path she was on. And as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth..”.what cause harm? No,surely no one cares about me that much! And anyway, I have what I wanted I am ok……” So when I saw that she was hired once more, placed on the rotation to dance at an event I hosted, co designed and created, well it was too much for me to cope with. I mean, the insult was bad enough the salt rubbing was too much. And she and her two owners went back to green cloud de rez and mute.
When I heard she was assigned as a permanent staff…. I pulled the red card… Note that this all occurred prior to my cleansing. And my red card was to jump on the manager, and then offer my collar and the brightflame name plus complete resignation from all the sim and family over this matter. That is how strongly I feel when protecting the family! Hey, shoot me!
Now all this kicked off last week. So with the purge, comes a change. This complex situation has now gone to mediation. And we will see what occurs on Friday. Whilst the girl in question was raged about, ranted over and purged from my regret folders, her owners were not .
And you could say that she was simply following brightflame rule one ” be true to yourself, never compromise you” in which case I will congratulate her on this, and then point out that being true to herself and declaring this to have been how she herself deals with issues, means she is not trusted and I wont withdraw my objections to working with a girl I can’t trust. And or don’t like…OR she can try the defence that she was focusing on her life on step at a time, in which case again congratulations are in order, but I still can’t trust like or work with her. The final course of action is to apologise to my sister. If that occurs maybe we can work out this matter, because of the purge nay be I can just put it down to crap timing and misconceptions.
My guess is that she won’t. But this example highlights the common causes of discomfort, and the way in which balance may yet be achieved. For my part in this example, the out cone might see her back on the rotation, but friendship? Relationship? I doubt I will go there knowing the darkness that slides under the beautifully sculpted surface, gives this rose a moment to pause.
So the purge done….the regrets and shame all blown away in the wind. But never forgotten. Instead its given respect and archived. Trusted to be left in the past, and honoured with silent recognition. The pillars are restored. The balance is almost there. The losses countered the future Bright……
Take care Rose…xx