Snapshot _ Mountain Tops, Mulholland Highway (114, 85, 3196) -

“My face has turned red
But it
’s not from something you just said
Oh I
’m blushing on the inside
’s those damn green eyes”

“I  kinda figured out  why  my  a tension had arisen  a  few days  ago,  that caused a  little  more than a tears to flow.   when the  same person   was  released from her  vows to me, and then instantly  it  feels she is  back to her old ways, and as if  I am not here,  those old ways   over riding the  current status  quo .. and the pain as  though a  surgeons  scalpel   slices the heart.  with   repeated lashing….watching her smile with her   friends as  they   banter and   play  sporting  the  latest largest  moments  in   their  chest.   expanded by  those that  the fear was  justified.  to   show itself the green eyes  monster   kicks in and the   rest as they say  is pain and tears, so yeah i  kinda  figured it out…..”

” what comes next is the usual  polite,  pleasantness that  follows a fight,  and then  we get back to the tasks at  hand .. we may  forgive  but  we  never forget.. we may  ignore  but   its, a mask to cover  the truth of the pain  we shared  in our won way  .. kicking ourselves for not seeing the  blatant  truth,  that  i  was not  the one for you  . And of course i didn’t listen to my own advice, as i told alice once.  a long time ago  . ” as i told  Alice”Never make somebody a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs” When the  tell tale signs where there to show me i was   wrong i   ignored them .. ”

“The cosmos once more shows me  that i  should not have  ignored the truth .  and simply should have followed the path They  layed out  for me instead of pushing a bad place.. i made a  compromise for her, one step too many.  Now i have to  face and live with that  flame,   as she dances    her dance,    i compromised my  self  for her .  thinking that was a  right path  for us all ..  assured with  the bolstered  knowing that  she  was feeding me  what   i  desired to hear.  and  then  figured out too late that   i was   being  taunted up a garden path   .. that i should NEVER have  been  near let alone tread on…”

” my  faults and shame  i  gift to My Owner,  maybe she  can  punish  a heart for them ..  burnish the copper  tinged   moments of the   fool i made of myself  .. “