Wisdom and hindsight, two things that should never be parted, the balance between them is crucial to the adjudication of facts as opposed to the unjustified rumours and speculation.

Of course back paced agendas, and speculative desires projected into the mix that floats to the surface when the lid of Pandoras box is lifted. In this I have some experience. Indeed, after being here before, mines and other psychological  traps were dropped along the route to this point in my situation.

But the culmination of the evidence against me being such a terrible heartless bitch,  is circumstantial at best, and yes, I think outweighed by the simple and overriding facts.

People’s memories appear like goldfish, when the arguments are close to home, it’s fine for one to have a melt down when jealousy comes calling, but that only works as long as I am not the one doing the melting .A hug fixes the situation in other cases, and all is forgive and forgotten, but me it gets filed and used against me. Same old story, just New players.

Surprised?  I was and hurt too by this revelation, but…also by the accuser, who I think, also holds back her true thoughts to spray in an avalanche when required. All of this leads the mind to conclude that either my days are indeed numbered as I predicted, or that relationships need to be rebooted. And hone truths need to be aired. 

Either way the situation has now reached a point that has senses on alert, as whilst I will of course forgive those that trespass against me, unlike the Christians, my faith prevents me from forgetting such acts. Or from allowing me to make the same mistakes, of trusting others at face value. And yes I realise this statement will probably be used against me, but remaining true to me means I have no choice other than to make such a statement.

The wisdom that shows me the erosion and error of my ways and principles, has also now gifted me the courage to understand such flaws and to bolster my principles to hold true to the rules that are designed and obvious to all that understands  the principles, rules and pillars of the lifestyle that is now my singular  importance, before the romantic involvement that is so obvious between me and my owner, and me and my wife.

To the future we shall see. To the past Whats done is done. To the Owls   Is breá liom thú ♥

Advertisements