As names for public houses go, I think this one, is one of the better ones! Then again I`ve heard so many plays on words lately, the warmest cave, the softest curtains, creation cave… the oven of love….Finds a bucket to throw up in . But I heard some girl use this ” Velvet Vice ” and it struck a chord in me.
Normally, of course, such things would be so far below one’s station! But then One does hear the words in the lower stations just as often these days as one hears “Fortnum and Masons” tea being related to ” a right nice cuppa” And of course, one should never ever enlist nor engage in such a conversation for fear of being found out doing so !. But it did make me chuckle.
For a variety of reasons, I have seen close up these Vices, some of which have, I have to say, been rather tasty. Others could do with more .. salt. This debate as I was washing down the finger box, was educational as such I have rounded up some of the most fascinating allotted names for a ladies soft secrets.. and presented them in this diatribe!
So to begin, “Badly packed kebab, Meat wallet, Axe wound,” should never be uttered even in polite company after pims!,” French fry dip, Penis fly trap. Stench trench, Cave of wonders, Beardedoyster,Pink canoe,Pink fortress,Soggybox,Baby cannon,Hippo’s yawn ” Are all representative of a bygone age where people wore elbow pads and smoked a pipe! Juicebox, Pink taco, Juicebox
Handwarmer, Cock socket, Mum’s glovebox, Tampon tunnel, Meat flap, Vague, are almost as bad as Front bottom, Flower, Kitty( cliff Richards?), Bajingo, Foo-foo, Hoo-hee, Hoo-hoo (etc) And lets face it ladies it could be worse but I`ll guarantee every one of you in Walmarts has heard one of these phrases! and not from the kids that are learning these to protect their fragile lol minds!
Wizard’s sleeve, milk bucket, Chasm of doom,The abyss,The grandest canyon all sound rather childish but are in fact used in everyday society in certain red light districts and bad pornographic films!
I Cant think why these sold so well at the church fete?
Now please excuse me while I take my super sonic rocket socket, for a race round G&H
See you soon Rose x