But, in that statement, we find, perhaps a possible truth. Of course, history doesn’t repeat itself it`s a philosophical impossibility. But the humans who inhabit the world at large repeat mistakes they do not learn from. This is older than time as a given understanding. But a truth, in this case, is that logical and illogical behaviour can be repeated as a tried and tested agreeable to some solution to current situations problems or emotions.
Take for example the playground scene. He / she stole my brush I `ll either use violence OR I’ll get a new brush, I’ll report them if I become brave enough to knock on that door. I`ll tell my mum .
Simple solutions to the current situation, at the time of that event.
A more current situation ” she / he said something against me on that fooking blog, I’ll ban their ass to oblivion ! I’ll tear strips off them in verbal combat ( well ok typed) I`ll report their ass to the teacher… erm LL
But really what’s changed? Have I made a change to the life that I lead? that may account for this change in the behaviour of others, or Have I stagnated along with the culprit? Honestly, I can’t say I have changed all that much. Or have I ? OKOK stop laughing.. My AVI has changed OMG yes ! Here look
Yes just a few memories .. and many other changes too, this is just a snapshot in time. But the point I’m making is that “me” the “me” that is sitting here typing this has changed. I hope for the better, but that remains to be seen.
I`ve changed because a special person made me change, no , even that isn`t right. A pair of special people made me change. Forced me to stare at myself. Coerced me to be more than I was. They blackmailed me damn it! And I loved every painful tear-filled moment of it. A french Woman, with a better grasp of the English language than she lets on!. And All American Southern Lady of distinct education and ability! Between these two woman, and for perhaps the first time since I was at Uni, I was made to rethink “Me”
It has not been easy, But then no one said life would be. And it certainly has not appeared so to me yet!. The lessons I have learned from the cosmos, which are still ongoing I hasten to add, not having died yet! Are teaching me More and More about Me. Not just the Person I want to be, but the person I am. One thing I must say here is this, ” I did NOT find god!” in fact the single god that seems to be rife these days didn’t even bother with me, and I`m rather happy bout that. No, I didn’t find a single god, and he or she didn’t find me. What did I find? Balance.. Patience LOVE. How unexpected was that ?
The problem with the original theory is it doesn’t take into account the simple fact that a slight change in a human can change the entire format of the conundrum. So, for example, the butterfly effect, I`m sure you have all heard of it a Butterfly flaps wing sin central park and in china a tsunami strikes? Well, add that to the idea that the slightest change to that butterfly, facing the other way . only flapping one wing.. and the results could be anything from Australia becoming a volcano to England being washed away.
So in effect, I have changed. I hope enough to change the parameters of the scene. Though it`s been gradual and careful, and even in a way cathartic. But more than that I see history not repeating itself in My case because the program for me has changed. So I cannot, no matter how hard I try to recreate the situation , repeat it.
Of Course, this doesn’t stop Others from repeating the same mistakes they have not learned from. It is said that everyone must learn from their own mistakes. But the truth is, some cheat and use others crib sheets. People ask me why there are so few pics for my time at Caged?
And my History will NOT repeat itself.
Damn it, I sound all determined. But reality says I have moved past this. And Of Course, the ban lines on Her land mean I can’t return 😉 So will it make for difficult times ahead? We shall see. It is most definitely going change some of the vampire roleplay, and perhaps a few more friendships must change. But these will do as the cosmos will`s them to do .
Recent words on the wind, Pictures thrones, and collars have brought fresh pain and hurt to the house. And ultimately that Must be addressed. But She taught me balance and patience. and They taught me to love and know a truth..
Till next we meet. Be nice to each other. enjoy the sparkles