I know, I know,  too many songs and lyrics.  But  damn it, they are important  right now.  And I`m  trying to make sure that  all songs have lyrics  written out so that,  One  person at least  can sing along with them.  The music I listen to has a great influence over my life,  in ways that  are  I  hope  healthy.  Then again,  the more I think about it, the more I tend to find, that  Sound have  influence over my  entire soul.

The high strangeness of this situation is that I am married for all intents and purposes to a  woman who is  Practically deaf. On some levels,  it works better   for us than expected, because  we both  understand the  nature of the world around us.  I was  young (ish) when I lost my  voice,  making me a mute for  over  twenty years  taught me to listen.

Together we form a  powerful storm,   I speak  now for her,  She listens  to the world  through her eyes for us. I  know it sounds surreal  but the partnership is  perfect   Because  hidden in that partnership  is petal.  How does she fit into Our  situation I hear you cry .. WELL  Petal is french, Her  language mode,  is  very  different to  the English  one,  even the American  version watered down is not the same  as the  way  the french think and speak. Petal completes the  circuit. Her  logic and thoughts her mind, her  imagination and her drive  completed the circuit in my  heart and mind.

Having too much time on My  hands right now I`m searching and reviewing things that have happened  in my  SL life. I would b  in remiss not to  draw  conclusions and parallels to real life. Not just from the lifestyle side of things but also other points that need to be  shown  to be  seen to be felt to understand.

Take sex  for a moment.  From the very start of my sexual awakening  in  SL  I have been  somewhat  into albeit I was forced to accept it as a fact of SL life  when I  joined!( way  back in beta!) , Threesomes,  foursomes, and moresomes where all the rage,  and I accepted that without  really caring about the emotional  cost.

In real time I have been in the same way, Its  true  My  first ” serious” relationship was with  both a guy and  a girl  and  the sex was astounding! Though reviewing that shows me that I was already far advanced into the selection of the sexual identity that I now cherish. It was not so much a  choice to be with  male  and female.  more a desire that  longing lust filled feeling that argues for more  time  and  would not  shut up. The  sexual  fluid of my  childhood was  slipped into an  envelope and  the real me was allowed to  emerge,  My  desire for the female  form  would not go away. I  felt it was  ” right “then  and I still feel  that it is perfectly balanced within me to say,  that I still  think its  Right.

I have more time on my hands than I  know what to do with. So I thought It might be an idea to share a bit more of me  with you. The timing  seems to be one the cosmos has chosen. Brace is away  with her family  for the summer vacation.  Petals   got her family  for the summer  vacation and I am  with them both  in my  heart  mind and soul. I  can ” feel ” them. I know that sounds  stranger than anything  for a person to  Feel another that she has never physically touched. But   I can  feel their passion, Feel their love,  feel their,  ok  ok  ok  I know  TMI  !.

Perhaps this is why we as a  team work so  damn well together?,  We   not only  get it  but also  we  understand it. We seem to have chewed the meat of our choices, till the white flesh is there, raw and  open  and  loved. And Now we  understand such things,  we  can  deal with the world around us.  On a whole  new level.

The lessons we learn  in life,   are not always a bed of roses. Some lessons   are the most painful   to endure,  and can be the single  defining  reason  if you let them be so.  Klew taught me that.  It took my  addled mind  many years to  be at a step and stage, where I could function  enough to  go to the  group  therapy  sessions that  Klew and Embeth  set up. But I was determined and I  eventually  found the  words that  They said,  and applied them to my real time.

Being  gang raped at nineteen,  for several days, Is not  what I think the  idea of lessons in life was  meant to  have in store for anyone. And yet it taught me molded me changed me into the person I am .  I cannot have children due to this  event and that  does weigh heavy on my heart.  But   the cosmos has  defined and designed this lesson for individually tailored lesson plans are not out of the ordinary!  So perhaps the cosmos has a  calling a higher purpose for me. I do not know.

What I  do  know for sure. Is that I  would not be here at all  writing this  speaking to you all if it wasn’t for the  brave  courage, and  sheer determination of will  that  was displayed by Klew and Embeth, Can I  thank them for the precious gift they  gave?  Only, I  think, by  being the best I can be and  being there for them and others  if they  ever need such tutoring.

As  someone has asked in an email.  I will post a  ” q and  a” FAQ post   at  some point in the  next   twenty-four hours.  Alas , the nurses are  about to interrupt so   I will  sign off and   see to them!

In  love and peace to you all  with sparkles and   gropes to  a selected few!  Rose  Brightflame™

 

 

 

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