I know, I know, too many songs and lyrics. But damn it, they are important right now. And I`m trying to make sure that all songs have lyrics written out so that, One person at least can sing along with them. The music I listen to has a great influence over my life, in ways that are I hope healthy. Then again, the more I think about it, the more I tend to find, that Sound have influence over my entire soul.
The high strangeness of this situation is that I am married for all intents and purposes to a woman who is Practically deaf. On some levels, it works better for us than expected, because we both understand the nature of the world around us. I was young (ish) when I lost my voice, making me a mute for over twenty years taught me to listen.
Together we form a powerful storm, I speak now for her, She listens to the world through her eyes for us. I know it sounds surreal but the partnership is perfect Because hidden in that partnership is petal. How does she fit into Our situation I hear you cry .. WELL Petal is french, Her language mode, is very different to the English one, even the American version watered down is not the same as the way the french think and speak. Petal completes the circuit. Her logic and thoughts her mind, her imagination and her drive completed the circuit in my heart and mind.
Having too much time on My hands right now I`m searching and reviewing things that have happened in my SL life. I would b in remiss not to draw conclusions and parallels to real life. Not just from the lifestyle side of things but also other points that need to be shown to be seen to be felt to understand.
Take sex for a moment. From the very start of my sexual awakening in SL I have been somewhat into albeit I was forced to accept it as a fact of SL life when I joined!( way back in beta!) , Threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes where all the rage, and I accepted that without really caring about the emotional cost.
In real time I have been in the same way, Its true My first ” serious” relationship was with both a guy and a girl and the sex was astounding! Though reviewing that shows me that I was already far advanced into the selection of the sexual identity that I now cherish. It was not so much a choice to be with male and female. more a desire that longing lust filled feeling that argues for more time and would not shut up. The sexual fluid of my childhood was slipped into an envelope and the real me was allowed to emerge, My desire for the female form would not go away. I felt it was ” right “then and I still feel that it is perfectly balanced within me to say, that I still think its Right.
I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. So I thought It might be an idea to share a bit more of me with you. The timing seems to be one the cosmos has chosen. Brace is away with her family for the summer vacation. Petals got her family for the summer vacation and I am with them both in my heart mind and soul. I can ” feel ” them. I know that sounds stranger than anything for a person to Feel another that she has never physically touched. But I can feel their passion, Feel their love, feel their, ok ok ok I know TMI !.
Perhaps this is why we as a team work so damn well together?, We not only get it but also we understand it. We seem to have chewed the meat of our choices, till the white flesh is there, raw and open and loved. And Now we understand such things, we can deal with the world around us. On a whole new level.
The lessons we learn in life, are not always a bed of roses. Some lessons are the most painful to endure, and can be the single defining reason if you let them be so. Klew taught me that. It took my addled mind many years to be at a step and stage, where I could function enough to go to the group therapy sessions that Klew and Embeth set up. But I was determined and I eventually found the words that They said, and applied them to my real time.
Being gang raped at nineteen, for several days, Is not what I think the idea of lessons in life was meant to have in store for anyone. And yet it taught me molded me changed me into the person I am . I cannot have children due to this event and that does weigh heavy on my heart. But the cosmos has defined and designed this lesson for individually tailored lesson plans are not out of the ordinary! So perhaps the cosmos has a calling a higher purpose for me. I do not know.
What I do know for sure. Is that I would not be here at all writing this speaking to you all if it wasn’t for the brave courage, and sheer determination of will that was displayed by Klew and Embeth, Can I thank them for the precious gift they gave? Only, I think, by being the best I can be and being there for them and others if they ever need such tutoring.
As someone has asked in an email. I will post a ” q and a” FAQ post at some point in the next twenty-four hours. Alas , the nurses are about to interrupt so I will sign off and see to them!
In love and peace to you all with sparkles and gropes to a selected few! Rose Brightflame™