She, brings me balance, undeniable perspective,and when the dust settles, She brings me confidence to be myself.
This may sound odd to some of you, that the great and all powerful rose needs confidence. But it is a truth. One that cannot be denied. You see, my darlings, not so long ago, I was a broken woman. Both emotionally and physically. And I was in truth, close to caching my chips in. Closer perhaps, to calling time on both real life and online life. Last ditch attempts to reignite the pilot flame of my desire, were failing as fast as I was attempting them.
And to say I was closer to giving up, than ever before in my life, was true. Then I saw them, from across the gulf between the sanctuary of The Scarlet Horse castle, and the market place. A vast distance of a sim, perhaps not vast by some accounts, but emotionally it was a galaxy away. I saw them huge striding, monster breasted, giants. That roamed hither and thither. Touching hearts and minds, a trio of ironic proportions. What I did not know, could not possibly know, was they saw me.
Hymalaya Mao Brightflame, a gigantic snow white woman, clad in a warm cloak, and friendly, infectious smile, came to the parapet. Talked as a reasonable, confident, charming woman, came to my aid, soothed the pain I was in. And coaxed me from my destination. Allowed me to step out, to adventure into Her world, to find that the doom and gloom, I was experiencing, was merely my own self punishment for crimes against myself.
These three strange and most unconventional avatars, changed me, formed me, tore down the lasting vestiges of my morally corrupt, existence. Not by chaining me, punishing me, or cruelty, of any kind. But by teaching me what true acceptance was really about. I saw them at their market square, preparing for a fete, felt them gently rearrange the universe. And fell in love with them.
Asked which I would want to be with, I spoke my truth, then, trying to avert a truth I was myself finding to be uppermost in my mind. And it has to be said, that finding Chalcedony Mao Brightflame was a godsend to me, an anchor point for my immoral compass to hold,to cling to, to accept. Though I would never have dreamed that She would have noticed me, Brace Mao Brightflame, stood out tall and slender, her piercing green eyes, steady and wise, held my heart, at a slight gaze.
Hymalaya, with her infectious giggle, insane humour, and free calm mind, gave me back the confidence to be able to hang with these strange long legged, big chested people. These same people that took me in, a vampire, a frightened, cowed, nervous slave, who needed them more than they could ever need me.
The evolution of emotions, the nature of relationships, the very tidal, seesaw of the turning earth, became a balancing act. Pressing both directions to see me fall to new lows, and rise soaring higher in the afterglow of each achievement. And then came the day, I knelt.
First impressions set the scene for the future, and whilst the first impressions of the Brightflame world, were indeed hard to encompass. Once you get over the huge boobs, and height or lack there of, of each of these fine people, you start to see the web like structure that maintained the empire of Brightflame. Tug that thread and follow where it leads. Secret spaces, hidden gems of reality. And the most overwhelming sensation of love.
Each curve ball thrown at these people, was met with a net of understated wisdom, which examined the ball, determined its threat, and then with pin point accuracy, and a baseball bat, hit a six with the tip and delived the “ball” to another universe. And I watched, learned , became educated in the force that is the Mao Brightflames.
Each step along the path leads me to a new adventure. The cosmic agenda, seeping into every pore of my soul, filling the void that was created, opening new avenues into the swamp of my emotional wreck of a life. And eventually these droplets of hope, formed into a plan, and knelt beside Hymalaya in front of Brace, I submitted myself to Her care.
Little did I know then, that, She, would bring me balance, She would bring me undeniable perspective,and when the dust settles, She brought me the confidence to be myself.