Switches, We run a tight wire, weaving our words and thoughts actions and desires between other people and our own courses and journey. We do so because we as Switches find the very nature of that truth, to be one truth, where the subject MUST find a way through the minefield of absolute submission. and temper this submission with the flip side of that coin.
Recent conversations have shown me that some of those that are switch`s, do not even know they are! And more worrying to my mind at least. is the utter confusion that this leads to in their own lives. Attempting to balance between, the desire to serve and the desire to Dominate, is a fine balance that most can achieve if they agree to understand the principles of the very thing they are attempting to achieve. EVEN if that goal is unrecognised on a conscious level.
For some of us the very nature of our submission whilst being a very private thing, is also the deepest and darkest of secrets that we covert. And it has to be said that not everyone will share the kink`s that you find really work for you. In fact, as a truth many people who are partnered with others that see the tip of the ice burgh so to speak, are afraid to show the truth or depth of their desire for fear that the other person will run away screaming.
Of course, this comes down to trust , the same way that You would pick a companion to be, regardless of if it human or animal, is the same way you would pick who to submit to unless of course your kink is being forced or fucked by strangers. But the level of that trust shows a great divide in most cases with the very person that they pick as a partner, Not being able to be completely honest completely open and truthful about their kinks with the person they wish to share causes more stress and break-ups than the actual admission of the kink I find.
I have also found, that complete honesty and openness is the key to making the relationship work so well. In truth, it is why My own collar works so well. There is no part of my life, She can`t ask me about or that I feel the need to hide from Her, Even the scary bits that still hurt, I trust her enough to let Her see the bare “ME” and in doing so stand naked against the wind of abuse that others have hurled at me for doing so. Based upon the “open door” policy, that once you tell a thing, you must expand upon it. The open door policy gives us the freedom to speak freely and openly and honestly about the issues of the day and the issues of the past. Without recrimination or fault finding. And this has worked really well to work through the issues that previous owners have left as baggage in my mind.
I am straying off the topic I wanted to broach, however. The fine line between Domination and submission that we covert, we hide to ourselves until we understand that the line is and where to draw it, is so fine that many simply don`t have a way to discover the truth about it . Instead, they hide that part of themselves, hide deep in their mind for when the lights go out and the covers are up, and let nature take its course.
NOW I am NOT saying this is a bad thing. We all have fantasies and we are all creatures of delight and pleasure. What I am saying is that, the people only ever skim the surface of that topic, really never reach potential and the lifestyle suffers and loses valuable resource in as a much as the creative mind that has not dared to step out of the safety and into the very deep pool of discovering the total truth about themselves. Even if you set the lifestyle aside a moment surely the journey to discover who you are, is lacking if you can`t admit to yourself what you want like desire? Then, of course, there are other people, You need to find the One or two even that will accept your kink nurture it, explore it. And be sure that they are on the same page with you, which is not easy by the way ! But without that trust, there is very little hope of this venture even lifting from the floor.
From Toe sucking ( ugh not one of mine I hasten to add!) through to blood letting. The lifestyle encompasses all. and there is not much that the lifestyle offers I haven’t seen either tried or learned about in one way or another. Though some kinks still surprise me! So I guess what I am trying to say , is find out about YOU then find someone else that has the same or close to the same kinks and then explore them .
BUT if you are partnered. make sure that partner knows EVERYTHING first. both Your kink and the person You are submitting to. AND if the partner is the same person that you are submitting to, make SURE without any DOUBT that She OR HE understands the fine line between what You want to do and what You are WILLing to do set the limits, draw the lines and have FUN! AND in normal Dom/ sub relationships that are perfectly fine to do. BUT as a switch, you must temper that with your desire. your goal . Your charges desire your charges Goal, and their limits.
It is not easy to walk that line, and there are times when you lean more on Your owner than you will on your charge. OR times when you can coast the way along with your charge and need only pep talks or corrections in the course you are setting. Surely that is half the fun of living?
Till next post. I remain, Her Rose Brightflame. Love ad sparkels xx